Greed & Generosity: The Dark Side of Light Work
There is an old Cherokee teaching about the terrible fight between two wolves that live inside each of us. The white wolf is joy, peace, love, hope, generosity, truth and every other positive or light quality we possess. The black wolf is anger, envy, arrogance, greed, lies, false pride, and every other negative or dark quality we each possess. The first version of this teaching ends with the wolf that wins is the one who is fed whereas the second version ends with, “if you feed them right, then they both win.”
I believe the first version leads to the creation of the False Self, the self that is perfect, charming, helpful, and all the rest of the qualities that make someone socially acceptable and viewed as a good person. In the first version, the white wolf is the star, loved and adored whereas the black wolf is ignored, neglected, and abused. When someone is ignored, neglected, and abused they begin acting out in toxic ways; this is how seemingly good people can do such horrible things. In the second version of the story, both wolves are loved and adored while sharing the spotlight because they each possess qualities that are important in different situations.
Think about Harry Potter and his defeat of Lord Voldemort. Throughout the series, Harry had to use both his light and dark qualities to save the wizarding world from evil. The black wolf does not sacrifice himself, the white wolf does. The white wolf does not kill, the black wolf does. Both wolves living inside Harry were needed to defeat Lord Voldemort. Both wolves also needed to be healthy to defeat Lord Voldemort. If Harry had ignored his black wolf, he and Ginny Weasley would have died in the Chamber of Secrets.
Not only do we each have the forces of dark and light within us, but we also live in reality either based on Equality or Power and Control.
The people who live in reality based on Power and Control mask their behavior by twisting the beliefs of the people who base their reality on Equality through emotional manipulation and abuse.
The horrifying part is that a lot of what is emotional manipulation and abuse has been normalized throughout our society and culture. You see it on the playground, the workplace, and home. You’re told not to be angry at someone else’s behavior which effectively shuts down your black wolf who is telling you that something is wrong and needs to change!
By ignoring the black wolf and being manipulated by the power over reality, we have emotional discord throughout our society. The emotional discord is seen in the increase of depression, anxiety, abuse, toxic work and home environments, personality disorders, including subclinical narcissism and subclinical psychopathy, and suicide.
The black wolf has an important job of policing your boundaries, protecting you from harm, and figuring out how to get what you want. Black wolves are not trying to power over white wolves; they are meant to work together helping you create the life you want.
But this is where it can be twisted. You could believe that the darkness is the power over whereas the light is equality. It’s not the dark or light that determine your reality rather it is your values and beliefs that determine your reality.
The majority of personal and professional development books, blogs, and seminars, focus on feeding and praising the white wolf while starving the black wolf. Any animal that is starved becomes vicious; creating chaos and lashing out when you least expect it. Hence, the stronger the push goes for happiness, the more depressed society becomes. Because people are forcing themselves to look and feel happy while simultaneously ignoring half of who they are and being emotionally abused!
Humanity is in an emotional crisis with those living in the reality-based on Power and Control at the helm.
Living in reality based on Equality requires self-awareness and speaking up when something is wrong. It requires you to know:
- who you are,
- what reality you reside in,
- identifying those who live a different reality than you and
- effectively coping with life in a power over dominated society.
Welcome to Greed & Generosity, my name is Geri Kabala.
I became interested in the dark side of human behavior when I was a teenager. Living in an emotionally abusive home I had to figure out how to survive, and the best way to do that was to understand how I was being abused and do the opposite. Well, that didn’t entirely work out, but it did get me through.
I studied psychology and sociology at Central Michigan University (2001) and Criminal Investigative Psychology at The Union Institute & University (2005). I decided not to go for my doctorate because I wanted to be in control of what I learned so after school, I joined the Navy and served on active duty for nearly six years to travel and pay off my student loans. I worked as a Yeoman (administrative assistant) and Legalman (paralegal) while continuing my passion for studying the dark side human behavior in a power over dominated culture. While serving in Iraq, I met the love of my life and less than a month of being back in the states; I was pregnant.
When we were together, I didn’t realize we lived in two different realities. My reality is based on Equality, and his reality is based on Power and Control.
I tried to make it work for years. Little did I know that we were never going to be in sync because we don’t share the same reality. I tried for years to get us on the same page but no matter what I read, learned, or shared, I was stuck in his power over loop. Now, I’m free and have sole custody and discretion of visitation of our daughter whom he hasn’t seen in years or talked to in months.
You are in charge of your world. You are the only person who can define who are. When others tell you who you are, they are showing you that they live in a power over reality and are trying to control you. Only you can stop people from controlling you and taking your power.
This blog is the dark side of my light work. My research, experience, ruminations, and conclusions are here for you to call back your power and heal the wounds caused by severe emotional manipulation and abuse. Use this blog to learn how to love your black wolf, become more self-aware, and to identify when the power over reality is being masked as Equality.
Heal yourself, and you change the world around you.
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